Sitting together on the couch together for longer than 5 minutes used to lead to sloppy make-outs, now it just becomes the place where you argue about whether you’re going to watch be comfortable or that you shouldn’t be able to relax around your partner.
That cozy co-existence is a key part of pair-bonding; it’s part of what enables us to raise children and what helps relationships last over the long-term.
You can get used to While that sense of security is important for a relationship it can lead to over-familiarity – the sense of being in a rut, of there being little to differentiate one day from another.
That lack of uncertainty and mystery leads to boredom… Part of what makes uncertainty appealing is what it says about someone. Let’s look at a classic example of the way that neediness conflicts with uncertainty.
Esquire writer Nate Hopper and ELLE writer Keziah Weir were set up on a series of dates and various tests over a period of three weeks.
In between meetings, the two would work with a psychologist, an anthropologist and a geneticist to see what it meant to be compatible and try various experiments that promise to jumpstart chemistry.
In fact, a little uncertainty can As anxiety-producing as the early days of dating can be, they’re actually some of the most pleasurable and exciting.
Now that their presence is more or less guaranteed, the sex is on tap and you can be sure that if they immediately respond to your text, they will when they’re less busy, there’s less of a motivation to keep up the standards.
SPOILER ALERT: In the end they come to the conclusion that while they like each other well enough, there’s no real excitement there.
As Weir puts it: “Because not even science could mimic that awful, wonderful buzz of early uncertainty—is he going to call, is she going to say yes?
Of course, there’re some who take uncertainty to it’s extreme and mistake uncertainty for .
Red Pill’ers and PUAs frequently advocate what’s known as “dread game”.